Let’s go corporate, Pal, you and me. Let’s pursue a life with limited liability.
We’ll make others slave and sweat and work and paw,
We’ll make others scratch and sniff and hem and haw.
We’ll take some chances but not more than a few,
And keep our monies better than any Jew.
Whoa! Come on now Buddy, let’s be PC!
Lest the HR department comes after me.
Are you crazy Pal? We’re upper management bro,
Who cares about the workers, this is the shareholder show.
Sure we’ll work some long hours and late nights
But that’s what it’s worth keep the margins away from tight.
Slow down here Buddy! We’re moving too fast!
There’s lots more to cover if we’re to cover our ass!
There’s lots more to a business than you’re letting on!
So stop shaking your pecker and get off the john.
We’ve got to talk dress code and color schemes …
Right now I’m thinking brown and blue and green.
What about social media? Tweetly Dee and Tweetly Dum?
How can we make our staff rallies a little more fun?
We’ve got to have coffee on hand,
And keep our taxation on hold.
We’ve got to keep perception high,
And make our management bold!
We can’t cut corners! Well, maybe a couple.
Like our desk chairs – they needn’t be supple.
We should hire employees with a longer commute
Studies show those ones are extra stressed, extra brute.
I’m all for going corporate, Buddy. You know me -
Those bonuses are the key to keeping me lean
Time to spend biking or on the slopes
Six packs from fat, fat stacks of notes
That’s what I’m saying Pal! Let’s do it big
And for God’s sakes, get rid of your secretary pig.
She scares me … let’s get a skinny minx.
You know - young and fit, poised like a sphinx.
But still a nice rack, Buddy?
Like, I’m asking ‘Hubby hubby?’
Pal, we’re talking double D!
Pillows so nice it’d make you scream!
Well that’s more like it! Consider this business a go!
Let’s spread the word and let the consumer public know!
Let them know that we’ve made a decision bold and great,
Our decision, our decision to incorporate.