If I could summarize my late teens and early twenties in a poem, it would read something like this:

i am a confusion

of hope and anxiety

commingling in the vortex

of dream and expectation

There is a lot going on at this age. The launch from high school, the separation from parents, a taste of freedom as exhilarating as it is overwhelming. I look back to my time as an undergraduate student and wonder how my life may have shifted had I been in counseling.

Prior to receiving my license, I completed my clinical internship at Appalachian State University’s Wellness & Prevention Services. There I worked with students, many mandated, who struggled with substance use and conduct issues. With many of my students I found an undercurrent of loneliness and disorientation. Beneath smoking weed every day, beneath the social media addiction, beneath the panic attacks and binge drinking and angry outbursts there was the question, “Who am I, and how am I going to exist in this world?”

This question indicates a riptide of anxiety, depression, and stress driving many of the maladaptive (and often, destructive) behaviors I’ve seen from working with college students. And while I believe that all stages of life present challenge and hardship, it’s my perception that the ages of 18-25 can be some of the most existentially confusing and isolating.

Some of this existential angst is developmental. It is perfectly natural for adolescents and young adults to search for identity and, in that search, to struggle. However, I have noticed that there is often a gap between my client’s stress levels and healthy management tools at their disposal. Thus maladaptive behaviors (like smoking weed or drinking alcohol or cutting) form first as a coping strategy and then as a crutch, leading to increased isolation, anxiety, and shame.

This is a complicated system we’re talking about here. My simplified conceptualization is that, when we are in a maladaptive loop, we are acting outside of our values. Values are often at the core of beliefs, emotions, and thoughts. Thus, chronically acting outside of our values can lead to anxiety and depression. With increased anxiety and depression comes painful emotions. To ease the pain of these emotions we turn to the maladaptive behavior – not because we want to, but because it feels necessary to soothe the pain. This strategy is effective, but it creates a vicious feedback cycle that can lead to higher risk behaviors.

So the question becomes – how do we pull out of this tailspin? I believe that mindfulness helps, and here is my blog post on why. Other things I think about are cultivating community around healthier activities because often our environment is one of the biggest triggers for substance use or behavioral issues. And as a counselor interested in values-driven behavior, I am curious to explore how my client’s values are either affirmed or compromised by their response to stress.  

I really enjoy working with young adults. It is such a rich and transformative time. To be 18, 19, 24 is to struggle and discover in tandem. It is to come into relationship with others, and with yourself. It is to grapple with the existential anxieties and to invest in the activities that are energy-giving. It is, for many people, the foundation on which the rest of life will be built. It is an honor for me to work with young adults during such an exploratory and intensely personal time.

For those of you wanting to know more about counseling for young adults, please reach out to me on my Contact page, or at reese@livewildcollective.com.